You may be a victim of bullying –
“A Person harmed by a crime, a wrong for which a remedy may be obtained.”
Several Adults and children in T&T
are victims of some form of bullying.
This plague has penetrated our way of life
that one is lead to believe and think of it as a cultural phenomenon.
Growing up in Trinidad & Tobago is
not easy
Being a child growing up in T&T is
tough without all of the extra stress of being selected by predators of all
ages and gender.
While most school-aged children are picked
on at some point, there is a vast difference between innocent joking, pecong
with each other, and bullying.
By definition, bullying is continued
aggressive behavior by one or more individuals that makes another individual or
individuals feel uncomfortable or threatened.
So, what is bulling?
If there are people who always make fun of
you, or try to hurt or fight with you, they are bullies.
If they take your things and won’t give
them back, they are bullies.
If your “friends” on Facebook keep writing
mean things on your wall, or if they post mean pictures of you, they are
bullying you.
If they are telling other people lies about
you and those people tell more people, then that is bullying.
Blatant imagines of media presentations if
one examines “older” versions of television and movie shows, you will see the
stereotypical definition of what is bulling in just about every show, a
visualize realization of subliminal behavior implants.
Take timeout to investigate the lyrics of
calypsos, soca and other types of musical outlets and dance and by
comparison, these events expose the unbiased physical and emotional
mindset characteristics of our culture where both gender molesters emerge to
satisfy their immediate self-gratification. The vulgarity of expression is the
norm.
The recess opportunity where most bullies
are haughtier: They used their size to intimidate smaller victims into giving
them their lunch money, taking a different route home from school or doing
their homework for them.
While this behavior still occurs in today’s
society, it is not the most common type anymore.
Gone are the days when children only had to
worry about someone trying to take their lunch money or pushing them down in
the school yard?
Bulling if examined carefully will identify
innumerable definitions that describe different types. Therefore it is
essential to understand the basic definition of bullying.
Merriam-Webster
Dictionary, defines bullying as
“to treat abusively” or “to affect by means of force or coercion.”
Further examination of the depth of
bullying, will reveal that these definitions sparkle through these types of
behavior. They establish a common thread that draws them together under one
large umbrella.
However, whether the occurrence is among
children or adults, the word bullying implies an inappropriate behavior.
In addition to the dictionary definition of
bullying, there are other factors that determine the behavior characteristics.
For instance, bullying behavior is often
deliberate, intentional and repetitive.
Bullies rarely attack their victims once,
and then move on to someone else. Once the predator identifies a target, they
lion that individual time and time again.
Those who are targeted often have
difficulty surviving the onslaught even though there is an audience.
Any engagement that falls under one of
these categories can be listed as types of bullying:
This is anything that does bodily harm to
someone. It includes
hitting, tripping, throwing objects at someone.
Physically intimidating, pushing, spitting
on their victim, causing physical damage and exerting their power over the
person.
This type of bullying doesn’t have to
involve laying your hands on someone else; it is classified as threatening the
person with physical violence.
This type of bullying occurs when someone
is repeatedly tortured by things that others say.
It includes telling lies about another
person, telling a person that they are worthless, dunce, and stupid,
threatening to hurt someone, and always making fun of someone.
Cyber Bullying
While this bullying is the newly identified
kid on the block, it has become much more damaging.
With the availability of, an access to,
social media networking sites, cyber bullying is rapidly increasing.
This kind of bullying can be anything from
always posting mean things on a person’s Facebook wall or Twitter feed.
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Posting embarrassing pictures online
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Posting fake pictures for the purpose of embarrassment
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Posting harmful videos on YouTube
This bullying is so damaging due to the
fact that once it is online, it is always online.
It cannot be deleted from the original
source by someone else, other than the owner.
Once others share and repost, it can be
everywhere within minutes, making it very difficult to remove.
Cyber bullying is so new, few parents even realize what is happening online.
In basic terms, cyber bullying is defined
as negative behavior online that targets individuals as a method of harassment.
It often follows many of the same examples
as verbal and emotional bullying because it is done through communication.
Studies also show that 85 percent of kids
have been cyber bullied.
Children miss school every day because they
are afraid.
While intimidating someone into doing
something he or she doesn’t want to do, classifies as physical bullying, there
is also an emotional element to this type of bullying. Other examples of verbal
or emotional bullying can include:
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Name calling
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Teasing
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Insulting
Sometimes these insults and names are about
the person who is being bullied.
In other cases, they may be about the
victim’s loved ones, giving a personal undertone to the bullying process.
The bully doesn’t care about what they are
doing to the other person.
In many situations, verbal or emotional
bullying can carry more long-term effects than other types of bullying, making
it a dangerous process.
Some people want to control those who are
in relationships with them, whether it is a romantic relationship or a
friendship.
Relationship bullying is about controlling
the other person.
Some bullies will use the silent treatment
as a way to get what they want from the other person, refusing to talk to them until they
comply.
Others enjoy spreading lies and rumors
about the other person.
This often happens in school settings when
teenagers are looking to damage the reputation of one of their classmates for
just about any reason.
In most cases, it is because they are mad
about something relatively minor.
Workplace Bullying
Bullying isn’t something that only affects
children who are going to school or interacting with their peers online.
Sometimes a boss can act as a bully by
keeping an employee from advancing in his or her career, or giving one employee
the types of jobs no one wants on purpose just because no one else volunteers.
This behavior can also take place in
retaliation if an employee reports inappropriate behavior by another employee.
If that employee finds out who made the
report or simply thinks he or she knows who did it, the bullying behavior may
begin.
Some employers even use bullying tactics to
get an individual to quit rather than firing them.
Most of this behavior is unethical and
should be reported to human resources or the owner of the company, if there is
no HR department.
Financial Bullying
Another adult form of bullying is financial
bullying.
This often appears in long-term romantic
relationships or marriages.
One individual will gain control over the
couple’s money and then dictate whether or not the other person can spend the money.
They may give their partner a specific
allowance for their own needs or to buy groceries, but all other purchases must
go through the one in control of the money.
If the other party doesn’t “behave,” the
money may be revoked.
This can be a sticky situation, though,
because some individuals simply aren’t good with money and need someone else to
take control.
Dr. Cliff Bertrand
Former NYC
Board Education
Public School Administrator
